Graduation Day!

Well, today is Danielle's graduation party! Crazy! I feel so old right now!

My cousin, Christopher, came out last night to hang out and spend the night. We haven't done that since I was....7? Lol! We watched The A-Team last night, then Haniya and Danielle went off to bed.....and Christopher and I stayed up and talked until about 2am. :) We've never been able to do that!!! When he used to come out and stay with us, we were too young to really have a conversation... We had a lot to catch up on...We hadn't seen each other in 2 1/2 years, minus a couple hours at the hospital this spring. I had the best time!!!! :D

Got to go...people are pulling up!

Semper Fi

Almost a week....

I cried again today....almost a week later.  Hannah wrote a beautiful post about how OYAN feels like home.  I wish it weren't so true...it wouldn't hurt this bad.  Thank God for my friends from the Stingrays, and for Anna. 

Oh yeah, I also did a lot of critiquing today!  I ran some errands for dad - took the truck in to get it checked and spent about an hour waiting for it.  I got to spend all of that time working on Reagan's story.  I remembered how much I enjoyed critiquing!  I feel...inspired.  It's a feeling I don't get when I write.......I like to help people.  I know that now.  I love helping people. 

Just an update for everyone...I go in on Monday for my PET scan.  Prayers would be greatly appreciated... I'm not nervous about the results at all - that's in God's hands, and I believe I'm completely healed.  But walking back through those doors........sets my teeth on edge and makes my stomach church.  Even the thought makes me feel sick.  I'm gonna end up spending most of the day there, waiting for the tracer injection, then waiting for the scan, then waiting for labs, then waiting for the doctor.  So much waiting!!  Everything is so.....sterile.... The place stinks!!

Anyway, yeah.  Prayers are appreciated!!

As One Approved: There's Flowers

From a good friend.......What I needed to hear when I needed to hear it.  God is good!


As One Approved: There's Flowers: Yesterday I took a trip to meet my Dad for lunch, which eventually involved me passing inside a large local U.S. military installation. Af...

Life Is Full of Pain

I was talking to a very good friend of mine today about how much I missed the workshop, and I was telling her about some of the amazing friends I made down there.  At one point I mentioned that today is the first day since I got home that I haven't cried at least once. She told me that she recently asked God why love hurts so much, and he responded, "Because it's real." 

This set me back on my heels for a moment, because it's so true.  One of my favorite artists had a song that goes, "You need to feel just to know that you're alive." (Kutless, To Know That You're Alive, 2008) and that always resonated with me...I've had a pretty good life, but even in a good life, you experience a lot of pain.

This past weekend was one of the most painful experiences of my life.  Last week was one of the best, however, so I suppose that's appropriate in it's own way.  I hung out with old friends, and I made new friends. This year I bonded with people like I never came close to last year (with the exception of one or two people).  One night (it was either Tues. or Wed. night), my friend Eli, whom I had known on the forum for years but only just met in person, said he had this strange feeling that it was the last night, and we'd be leaving the next day.  I didn't say it then, because I couldn't bring myself to admit it, but I was feeling the same thing.  Our amazing week had only just begun, but already we were dreading the end of the week.  The goodbyes. The tears. The pain. 

A group of students gathering together to pray on the last night

And then the last night really came.  I started crying before the evening session started, and I don't think I really stopped crying until 3am.  The anticipation of the goodbyes, then the actual goodbyes, then the lingering emptiness that came with not knowing when, or if, I would see these beloved friends again.  Somewhere around 2300hrs (11pm, for those that don't know), a girl that I don't know that well came running up to me. 

"Guess what?" She said. 

Before I had a chance to formulate a response, she was talking again, "Greg just accepted Christ!  C'mon!"

And we were off.  We hurried halfway across campus to sit and wait for him to come back.  While I was sitting there, I realized something that, admittedly, I had to realize several more times throughout the weekend.  Yes, goodbyes hurt.  They hurt a lot.  But we could have no fellowship without goodbyes, and without fellowship, my dear friend would not have given his life to Christ.  And the thought of that hurts more than saying goodbye ever could.  Because I know that even if I never see these epic people again on this side, I know that we'll be together for eternity on the next.  And now, there's one more added to the fold. 

That's not to say that I don't still feel like my heart's been torn out of my chest.  Truth be told, I can no longer say that today is the first day I haven't cried, but because I just started crying when I saw a picture one of the OYANers put up on Facebook.  There goes that plan.  Anyway, what I'm saying is that the old phrase, No pain, No gain, applies to more than we sometimes think.

Plus, after all this pain I'm going through now, just think how sweet the reunion will be when it finally happens!

So, to my closest OYAN friends that I hung out with: Anna, Amanda, Eli, Reagan, Hannah, and Braden, and of course, Mr and Mrs. S...You would not believe how much I cried, having to say goodbye to you guys.  I haven't cried this much before in my entire life put together.  And I can guarantee there will be many more tears when we are reunited (hopefully very, very, very soon)...but until then I want to thank you for an amazing week, and for being used of God to teach me an important lesson: Life is full of pain...but it is still so worth living!

From left to right: Amanda, myself, Mrs. S and Eli

Semper Fi,
Jacki

Many good times, many tears

Sitting in a hotel room in Iowa on my way home right now.  I reckon it's time to update you guys on the last few days of the workshop, and the trip home.  Excuse me while I grab a box of Kleenex to get me through.

OK.  **settles in**  Let us pick up where we left off!

Thursday:

This morning began with a Bible study at 7:15, where we read Proverbs 21, and discussed it.  After that was breakfast, as usual, then to the Bell Center for the first session of the day, featuring Jeff Gerke, who instructed us on how to prepare a great novel proposal to take to a publisher.

After a short break, we returned for a panel Q/A session with Jeff Gerke, Amanda Luedeke (Mr. S's agent) and Stephanie Morrill. Then we broke for lunch.

After lunch it was time for critique groups again - my favorite part of the day!  This time, Eli somehow ended up with someone else's hat, so he sported a lovely hat for the next several hours.  :) 

Eli and his hat!

It was during this session that I read the one excerpt that I had taken that I thought was my best!  Turns out, however, that my late-night editing session on Sunday night, getting ready for the workshop, had turned out a less-than-desireable product.  All of my copying and pasting and re-writing had turned my once-beloved scene into a confused, muddled mess!!  It was so confusing, even I was confused!!  I had to stop and apologize while I tried to figure out where bodies and voices were coming from and why they were appearing out of thin air!!  Everyone tried to assure me that it wasn't that bad, but I know it was!  An author ought not to be confused by her own works!  As usual, everyone else's novels were fantastic!  I was blessed with a wonderful critique group!  I couldn't have asked for a better one!

After critique groups was dinner, then back to the Bell Center for the evening session.  This time Prof. Mark Wilson was back with a talk on Adventure, and how it is more than possible to write a great Christian adventure novel, but that most of today's society has separated the two, out of the belief that adventure cannot be Christian.  As some of you might expect, he cited such authors as C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien.

Then, it was time for the last session of the evening.  Mr. and Mrs. S had brought in the Greenleaf Improv Team for us, again, just like last year.  Again, they were hilarious!!  In one of their 'games' they had a bunch of students write down one sentence from their book, and then they used random ones to finish their sentences as they acted out a scene.  It was a riot!!  We left the Bell Center late that night, then headed over to the Tipping Point lounge for the remaining time before curfew.

While hanging out at the Tipping Point, I was able to spend some time just talking with Eli, and I found out that he was still largely in the dark as far as what I had been through this spring...how I found out I was sick, and what all went down as I found out what was going on.  Along the way, I found out he was in the hospital for a surgery around the same time I was in the hospital.  After we had finished updating each other on our health conditions, and what had gone down when, he asked me if I would write an article for Kingdom Pen about my experiences and how God's using them to affect my writing.  Of course, I said I would be thrilled!  Halfway through Prof. Wilson's talk, the perfect idea hit me, so I began my article then, and finished it later that night in my dorm room, which is why I didn't update the blog.  You all can read the article in the next issue of Kingdom Pen if you subscribe!


Friday:

7:15 Bible study, for the last time.  I don't remember off-hand what we read...I was in a daze of exhaustion (from staying up too late, writing) and sorrow - knowing this was the beginning of our last day.  Daniel had me near tears, as he wrapped up...but I made it through!

Then came breakfast (and two cups of coffee! They're dinky little cups, though...I was so tempted to go ask for a man-size cup of coffee!  Lol!)  Then off to the Bell Center for the first session of the day.  Upon arriving, we found that, though the scheduled event was an interview with Mr. Tom Oswald, there were many special acts that were to come first.  Among them was Lindsay, singing a song that she wrote.  She described it as an adventure novel in a song, and indeed it was!  Earlier in the week, Braden sang a song he wrote about a character in his book...... Both songs were awesome!!

Both the first and second sessions of the day were interviews with Mr. Oswald, but due to the special acts, we didn't actually hear much from him.  However, what we did hear was a mixture of depressing and encouraging.  He was talking about the future of indie Christian media and how to reach our culture with our writing and music, etc.

After that came lunch, which was rather uneventful, then I had about a half-hour to kill before critique groups started.  I went walking outside, just listening to music and wishing that the day would never end.  I ended up finding Eli, and we walked back to the Bell Center together, so he could get the power cord for his computer.  Once there, we parted ways, he had a few things to do while he was there, so I headed back towards the cafeteria to prepare for critiques. I was halfway back to the cafeteria, and had stopped to talk to Starlight, when Eli running out of the Bell Center, calling my name.  Star continued on his way, and I waited for Eli to catch up.  When he did, he was grinning this sheepish, almost guilty sort of grin.  Turns out, he'd come walking out of a door in the Bell Center and shouted something in Russian at the top of his lungs, then continued out the door, leaving a group of shell-shocked teenagers in his wake.  We had a great laugh about it as we made our way to the cafeteria.

Once inside, I set my things down and walked away from the group for a moment (bad idea!)  When I came back, Eli had put on his red headband and was now looking very much like Rambo.  O.o  Of course, we all had to have our pictures taken with Rambo!!

Rambo and Tora

Rambo is very tired!

After critique groups - which were filled with much hilarity (Andrew and I were under the impression that it is impossible to OD on Essential Oils, but Eli seemed to prove us wrong!!) - we headed back to the Bell Center to find a few of our friends before returning to the cafeteria for dinner.

After dinner we met outside the Bell Center for our group photo.

Said group photo

Then we returned to the auditorium for the final session.  Mr. S's talk was titled The War of Two Trees.  To be honest, I don't remember much of the talk.....I started crying when he started talking, and I didn't stop until about 3am.  I shall have to get some notes from some of my friends to refresh my memory.

After he was done, several people got up to say thank you, or share how God had touched them....I considered getting up and saying something, to thank everyone for their prayers and to tell them how much they meant to me, but....well, I knew I wouldn't even get up to the stage without breaking down.  So I didn't.

After that, we all went over to the Tipping Point to spend our last few hours together.  Mr and Mrs S extended our curfew to 1am, so that we could have one last, coveted hour together.  I spent most of the time just battling the tears, trying to stay upbeat, and enjoy my time.  I had just recovered from a breakdown with Amanda when Kate came over to tell me that one of my dear friends had just accepted Christ.  I lost it.  We raced over to see him, and several of us glomped him.  From then on, I was just a wreck.  I was sitting on the deck of the Tipping Point with Eli when Amanda came to say goodbye.  We hugged, and cried and hugged some more.  I sat back down, and Eli got up to go talk to someone else. Then Anna came over, and I did it all again.  When it came time to bid farewell to Eli and Reagan, I just didn't have another goodbye in me, so we agreed to postpone it until the next morning.  I promised to get up early and meet them in the gazebo so we could say goodbye one last time.  Then I hugged Braden, Mig, Isaac, Blaine, Kyle, the S's and a bunch of other people and left quickly, holding back the tears until I was walking alone.  Once back in the dorm, my roommates and I were up until 3am.  Two of us were crying almost the entire time.


Saturday:

I got up at 6:15 the next morning, threw on some clothes and made my way out to the gazebo and waited for my friends.  That began a long and very painful morning of goodbyes.

After we left, we headed for Omaha, where we met up with my grandpa, and had lunch with him.  Then we checked into our hotel room, where Danielle, Haniya and I tipped over and passed out on the beds.  After about a 2 hour nap, we got up and went out to a wonderful little German restaurant for dinner.

We came back to the hotel after that, and Danielle and Haniya went to sleep.  Mom and I were up for quite a while after...I was catching up on stuff on my computer, and reading previous issues of Kingdom Pen that I was behind on, and she was watching movies or something.  :)

Sunday:

This morning, we got up, packed up, and headed to church.  A year and a half ago, when we were down here visiting grandpa while he was in the rehab center after he nearly died of an infection, we visited Bellevue Christian Center and made many wonderful friends!  Since I was going to be in the area, I contacted a few of them and asked them to come this weekend.  When we got there, I met up with Weston, and got to see their youth pastor, Cory, as well.  After a wonderful sermon, which talked about dreaming big - no matter what the world says........and which felt like it had been written specifically for me, Weston and I went around and I got to see several of my other friends from my previous visit.

After we left there, we went out to eat at a Mexican buffet.... Word to the wise....when in doubt, skip the buffet!  The salad bar was little more than lettuce and dressing (I put raisins on my salad!  And I hate raisins!!) And there was nothing on the food bar that I recognized.  I found a few tasty things, but I prefer knowing what it is that I'm eating!

My mom's oldest younger brother stopped by for a few minutes to say hi, as well.  I hadn't seen him in nearly 13 years, so it was really great to see him again!!!  He had to get back to work, though, so we didn't get much time with him.  When he left, we all walked out, and then said goodbye to Grandpa.  Seems like every time it gets a little harder to say goodbye.  :(

We left the Omaha area a little after 3, and started our journey north.  As we were going right through Des Moines, and my dad's Aunt and Uncle live in Des Moines, we decided to stop on our way through and say hi.  We ended up spending about an hour with them, snacking on fruit and cookies, and drinking coffee.  After we hopped in the car, we decided we did not want to drive all the way home, so here I sit in Iowa city!

On our way up from Omaha to Des Moines, we stopped in Menlo, IA (which is only about 2mi off of I-80, FYI) to see the Freedom Rock.  Here are a few pictures:

Danielle, Haniya, and myself in front of the painting of the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.  And amazing depiction!

Just a really cool view of the rock, and the flags in the background!

Well, that's all I've got for now...it's really late, and my fellow travelers have been very quiet in the other room for quite a while!!





Semper Fi

Hybrid Student: A Tiny Taste Of Heaven

A wonderful post by a friend of mine that summarizes our EPIC week in Kansas...

Hybrid Student: A Tiny Taste Of Heaven: I’ve seen what Heaven looks like. I just got back from the week-long One Year Adventure Novel (OYAN) summer writing workshop. The ex...

SW:2012 Day 2

Well, another amazing day, as usual!!

Today I started my day with a student-led  Bible study, led by Daniel Beals. He read out of Mark, and was talking about how Jesus needs to be the center, and the purpose, of our writing, but how it shouldn't be a blatant message, but more of just a subtle existence.  I suppose he summarized it best when he quoted Frances of Assisi in saying, "Preach Jesus, and if you must, use words."

After that was breakfast, then another very good session by Prof. Mark Wilson, in which he was talking about how we as young people growing up in today's culture often let our curiosity die, and how that can cause so many problems in our lives as effective witnesses for Christ.

Following Prof. Wilson was Mr. Gerke again, speaking on description in your novels. He had us do several  exercises to help us learn how to effectively describe our character's surroundings without overwhelming our readers with random, meaningless information.

Then it was lunch-time again, and I joined Eli and Mr. Tony (his dad) for another enjoyable lunch, and then it was time for critique groups!  I gathered my Stingrays around me and we settled in with our sodas and our pens and began.

As usual, everyone had wonderful excerpts! I really dislike my excerpts, but so far everyone has loved them....leaves us at something of a disconnect, but we've had a great time! Eli had me nearly in tears today with his excerpt from his most recent story idea. I'm again amazed at the talent that abounds here! Every one of the stories in my group is just...incredible. We have two westerns that transport you immediately back to the 1800s, where everyone wears boots and carries a gun, and the only option other than riding a horse was walking. For those of you who don't write, and/or haven't read much for western novels - this is very tricky! Western is one of those genres that often feels 'put on,' and it's difficult to make it feel real, but these two individuals did a great job!

After critiques we had about a half hour before dinner, so I went back to the dorm and laid down for a while. I feel great, but the short nights have been catching up with me during the sessions! Then, I joined Eli and Mr. Tony (seeing a pattern!?) for dinner.  We ate quickly (a bad habit that both Eli and I have down pat) we skedaddled outside to give Eli a crash-course in photography. He just got a new, very nice, camera but doesn't know much about photography.  Hannah is very proficient, and I.......well, I get lucky sometimes!  :)  We spent almost an hour and a half out there, just snapping random pictures and chatting and having a grand old time!

We were having such a grand time, in fact, that we nearly forgot about evening sessions! We rushed back to the Bell Center at ten minutes to 7, and found our places shortly before Mrs S came out and introduced our evening speaker, the honorable Mr. Jeff Gerke! This evening he was talking to the authors of Christian Speculative Fiction (basically, Fantasy/Sci-Fi/other worlds, etc) and how to make the story world real to your authors, like Middle Earth, in Lord of the Rings, or Narnia, in The Chronicles of Narnia. Even though I'm not writing a Speculative novel, I found some very helpful tips for my story, making sure that my character's world is real to my reader.

He finished up around 8:30 or so, and then we headed down to the Tipping Lounge, as we have dubbed it, to hang out. I ended up getting to have an awesome discussion with Eli about my battle with cancer, and my journey through it. He knew the basics (Hannah was really sweet and kept everyone updated while I was in the hospital and recovering, until I could update them again myself!) but hadn't heard much, and hadn't talked with me about it at all.  To my delight, he asked me to write an article about it for his magazine, which I've contributed to several times, Kingdom Pen. So...I get to do that before July 15th...which won't be a problem.  I'm actually really excited about it!

Well, that's about it...here's some of this evening's pictures, for your viewing pleasure!

Semper Fi

Random yellow fire hydrant and trees...I just thought they looked cool!

Again..random, cool-looking stuff...trees this time

You know me, I love flags.  This one, the lighting didn't come out quite how I wanted, but it's still pretty awesome!

Same flag, this time including the Eagle statue beneath it.  I thought it was really neat!

This is the Admissions building..nothing special, except for the cool trees surrounding the entrance

Hannah and Eli just...picturing

Um...yeah. A bench. 

Sir Eli himself.  Hannah took this one

This light actually lights a really cool statue of a family praying next to a plow.  I loved the flag in the background, though, so... :)

Eli, again, with his camera. Also, this was Hannah again. I was making a run back to the dorm for fresh batteries

The chapel steeple. Again, Hannah.

Also Hannah... Well, technically, it's a leaf.  :D

Eli and I, talking about......something!

And the legendary Mrs. S!!  I took this during one of the afternoon sessions today.

SW:2012 Day 1

Where to even begin?  It's been such a full, crazy, amazing day!!!!  Got up at six and headed over for breakfast, where I joined a few of my friends and we ate in an exhausted stupor.  By the time the first session began at 9am, we had awakened...somewhat...and were ready for the assault of knowledge coming our way.

We were not disappointed! Mr. S delivered a wonderful talk on the differences between 'showing' and 'telling' and the proper uses of each.  After a short break, we returned to hear from Prof. Mark Wilson, who drew a striking analogy between life and the shipwreck in Robinson Crusoe (life...inhales quickly! SW attendees, you know what I mean!)

Around noon we returned to the cafeteria for lunch, where I joined my friend Eli and his dad for some very entertaining conversation before meeting with the other critique group leaders (yes, I'm a leader this year...FEAR ME! :D) for prayer before gathering with our groups for the next 2 1/2. We read and critiqued and laughed and had a wonderful time! I'm leading a Fever of Stingrays, and was blessed to have two of my friends (Andrew and Eli) in my group!

After the critique groups, we had an hour of free time before dinner. Eli was kind enough to spend some of his time helping me fix the bed-cover on our pickup truck which was severely damaged by the extreme cross-winds we drove through on our way down.  WI, IL, MO and KS were being buffeted with CRAZY winds yesterday...which, of course, makes interstate travel interesting. Let's just say I drive like a Crooks, which means I spent more time passing people than anything else, but in a full-size pickup, with lots and lots of semis on the road......well, it can get exciting with winds like that!! 

Anyway!  After he fixed our topper-thing (THANK YOU! You're my hero.  :P :P) we headed back to the Bell Center, which is the AMAZING and GORGEOUS building that we are occupying this week (so much larger and nicer than the Cook Center of last year, which we thought was incredible at the time!) for some 'chill' time before dinner. After dinner we were back in the theater for our evening sessions. 

Boy, were we in for a treat! The first evening session was scheduled to be Mr. S talking on great characters - what makes a great character, and how to create and develop them, and then what to do with them then.....except that he didn't end up speaking at all.  He introduced us to a friend of his that made a special trip to join us.  Mr. Samuel Clemens, everyone!  For those of you who don't know, that's Mark Twain.  Now, I can hear all your doubting voices, and YES, I know that he died many years ago.  Obviously.  :P  However, it was a wonderful session full of humor and talent, and some incredible tips to boot!

After a short break, then, we returned to our seats for a talk from Mr. Jeff Gerke of Marcher Lord Press. What a blessing!  He shared with us how to write a publishable novel - how to start your novel in such a way that people want to keep reading, so that they make it to the actual meat of the story.  It was awesome, but also a little discouraging, as I looked back at my story... But, I'm not thinking about that tonight!

 Truth be told, I'm not thinking about much other than going to bed! I've got to be back up at 6am. If the days weren't so epic, the short nights would not be worth it!

 For your viewing pleasure, this is a photo of my critique group, the Fever of Stingrays. Clockwise, starting at the back left is as follows: Andrew, Eli, Daniel, Jonathan, Victoria, Samantha, Amanda and myself.  :)


Will, hopefully, update again tomorrow!

Semper Fi,
Jacki

OYAN Summer Workshop

It's finally here!!! I'm in Kansas with over twice as many students as we had last year for the workshop. :D. Got to meet several of my friends that I've been wanting to meet for years, and made several new ones!

Tomorrow the fun starts in earnest, with breakfast at 7:30, and then our first session starts, and we're off and running!!! :D.

Bet you can't tell I'm excited at all!!!! :P.

Well, I'm off to bed... I only got 4hrs of sleep last night, and I know it's going to be a very long week!!!

Semper Fi
Jacki

P.S. On a side note...did you ever notice that FTW is just WTF scrambled? Yeah... I thought not! ;)

Coming to the End!

Last Thursday marks my last chemo treatment!  :D  It is now time for summer to begin!!  And we're kicking things off with an EPIC trip to Olathe, KS, for the OYAN Summer Workshop.  This will be my second workshop, and I cannot wait!! After the workshop comes Lifest, and then 3 days at EAA with my dad!  And somewhere in there I need to get back to work, so I actually have some money again!  ;) 

We went in today to vote (Walker all the way, baby!!) and I got to see some of the folks in town that have been praying for me throughout my treatment journey. It's pretty weird to walk in, state your name, and everyone instantly asks how you're doing, and they know all about the last 6 months of your life.  I'm left standing there going, "Um...I'm fine, thanks... Uh, who are you, again?" O.o  Lol!! 

Anyway!  Not much else is new... Although I did move back downstairs to my real room again, finally!  Last night was my first night back in my bed since sometime in December, and man was it nice!  (Although, truth be told, I'll be taking my memory foam mattress topper off the mattress upstairs and putting it on my mattress downstairs, which is way too hard!  Lol! I'm spoiled now!  :D)  I had forgotten just how much my room fits  me. The posters, the paint job, even the arrangement of the furniture! It's good to be back!

Well, that's about all the news I have for today...and I need to go locate and round up some oils so mom can do a Raindrop treatment for a friend from church.

Semper Fi