Life Is Full of Pain

I was talking to a very good friend of mine today about how much I missed the workshop, and I was telling her about some of the amazing friends I made down there.  At one point I mentioned that today is the first day since I got home that I haven't cried at least once. She told me that she recently asked God why love hurts so much, and he responded, "Because it's real." 

This set me back on my heels for a moment, because it's so true.  One of my favorite artists had a song that goes, "You need to feel just to know that you're alive." (Kutless, To Know That You're Alive, 2008) and that always resonated with me...I've had a pretty good life, but even in a good life, you experience a lot of pain.

This past weekend was one of the most painful experiences of my life.  Last week was one of the best, however, so I suppose that's appropriate in it's own way.  I hung out with old friends, and I made new friends. This year I bonded with people like I never came close to last year (with the exception of one or two people).  One night (it was either Tues. or Wed. night), my friend Eli, whom I had known on the forum for years but only just met in person, said he had this strange feeling that it was the last night, and we'd be leaving the next day.  I didn't say it then, because I couldn't bring myself to admit it, but I was feeling the same thing.  Our amazing week had only just begun, but already we were dreading the end of the week.  The goodbyes. The tears. The pain. 

A group of students gathering together to pray on the last night

And then the last night really came.  I started crying before the evening session started, and I don't think I really stopped crying until 3am.  The anticipation of the goodbyes, then the actual goodbyes, then the lingering emptiness that came with not knowing when, or if, I would see these beloved friends again.  Somewhere around 2300hrs (11pm, for those that don't know), a girl that I don't know that well came running up to me. 

"Guess what?" She said. 

Before I had a chance to formulate a response, she was talking again, "Greg just accepted Christ!  C'mon!"

And we were off.  We hurried halfway across campus to sit and wait for him to come back.  While I was sitting there, I realized something that, admittedly, I had to realize several more times throughout the weekend.  Yes, goodbyes hurt.  They hurt a lot.  But we could have no fellowship without goodbyes, and without fellowship, my dear friend would not have given his life to Christ.  And the thought of that hurts more than saying goodbye ever could.  Because I know that even if I never see these epic people again on this side, I know that we'll be together for eternity on the next.  And now, there's one more added to the fold. 

That's not to say that I don't still feel like my heart's been torn out of my chest.  Truth be told, I can no longer say that today is the first day I haven't cried, but because I just started crying when I saw a picture one of the OYANers put up on Facebook.  There goes that plan.  Anyway, what I'm saying is that the old phrase, No pain, No gain, applies to more than we sometimes think.

Plus, after all this pain I'm going through now, just think how sweet the reunion will be when it finally happens!

So, to my closest OYAN friends that I hung out with: Anna, Amanda, Eli, Reagan, Hannah, and Braden, and of course, Mr and Mrs. S...You would not believe how much I cried, having to say goodbye to you guys.  I haven't cried this much before in my entire life put together.  And I can guarantee there will be many more tears when we are reunited (hopefully very, very, very soon)...but until then I want to thank you for an amazing week, and for being used of God to teach me an important lesson: Life is full of pain...but it is still so worth living!

From left to right: Amanda, myself, Mrs. S and Eli

Semper Fi,
Jacki